How We Communicate
Barrie Doyle (Crisis Response Consultant) states it is not “if a crisis will occur, but when a crisis will occur.” Are we ever ready for a crisis, traumatic event or bad news?
As a leader, I can handle bad news relatively well, but I find it much more challenging to deal with surprises. Too often, when a crisis or news of sexual harassment, misconduct or abuse happens, it comes as a surprise.
It is important to remember that a leader caught in abuse too often will spin a false narrative. Boz Tchividjian states, “When abusive behaviour of Christian leaders is uncovered, all too often the immediate response is not an unconditional admission or a genuine expression of authentic repentance. Instead, a common response is a new narrative. A false narrative. A narrative that attempts to paint a picture of the situation without any regard for truth. A narrative designed to protect reputations and preserve future incomes. A narrative designed to keep the leaders in the spotlight and the victims out of the way.” He cites three common false narratives among offending leaders. I have provided examples of these three narratives. 1) Redefining the Narrative, “My worst failure was having an affair.” 2) Shift the Blame Narrative, “It is common among leaders like myself for people to plant women to seduce us. They will do anything to destroy the good work we do.” 3) False Empathy Narrative, “The pressure of the work, the challenges of COVID, family and financial pressures got the best of me, and I now recognize the pressure caused me to make a slip.”
Once the offender spins their story, the organization that is responding to the crisis strives to respond with an attempt to control the narrative. In their book “A Church Called Tov, Forming a Goodness Culture That Resists Abuses of Power and Promotes Healing,” Scott McKnight and Laura Barringer remind you to step back and remember your true calling.
Here are four crucial tips for responding when a crisis of abuse occurs within your organization:
1. Seek truth. Wait to believe the narrative the accused is stating. If Tchividjian is correct, which I believe he is; it is critical to become a truth seeker. Becoming a truth seeker will only happen by ensuring you are a safe person to receive reports of abuse. Be willing to identify your bias, listen to the parties, engage a third-party investigator, and weigh the evidence. In McKnight and Barringer’s book, they remind their readers that if you desire to be a community pursuing goodness, you will affirm the truth-tellers, name the perpetrator and all specific wrongdoing, confess all complicity, and publicly acknowledge the harm done.
2. Be transparent. Our natural inclination when a crisis occurs is to protect our reputation and control the narrative. It is not the time for silence or sweeping the incident under the carpet. Share information on a need-to-know basis. Your community, congregation, shareholders, donors, staff and volunteers need to hear from you if the story has gone public. They have a vested interest, so share the amount of information based on the audience. During a crisis, remind each stakeholder of your vision and mission, your commitment to zero tolerance of abuse, and your commitment to safeguarding the vulnerable. With that said, everyone does not need to know everything. Transparency does not mean the whole world needs to know all the gory details of the abuse. Provide enough information that your community becomes aware of the extent of the allegations, the steps you are taking to uncover the truth, how you are responding to the claims, and eventually the investigation findings.
3. Know your audience. There is so much I can say about this tip. How you respond when there is a crisis will nurture healing of victim-survivors of abuse or cause further injury and suffering.
The prevalence of abuse has skyrocketed within the faith, education and sporting sectors. When you address your community and the public, seek guidance from your insurance company, legal counsel and trauma-informed individuals. You may receive contradicting counsel, but stay true to your vision, mission and values. I grew up hearing the poem, “Sticks and stones can break your bones, but words can never hurt me.” What a lie that is! Words can be hurtful. Words can silence a victim and shut down a conversation; words can cause additional emotional and spiritual abuse.
4. Avoid using the term “No comment!” In our Crisis Response and Management course, Barrie Doyle provides excellent guidance and training on what and how to speak to the media when they call. As much as our initial response is to want to say, “No comment!” Barrie recommends using this as an opportunity to address the public, sharing your vision and mission, your concern for those involved and the steps you take with law enforcement and third parties to seek the truth.
As much as our natural inclination is to fight, flight or freeze when we face a crisis or a traumatic event, the more prepared we are to respond and communicate with integrity and resilience in the face of a storm, the better. - MLB
(This article was previously posted in PROTECT Issue 10: Clergy Sexual Harassment and Misconduct for Plan to Protect®).